take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home
oh, won't you please take me home
oh, won't you please take me home..


just a' urchin livin' under the street
i'm a hard case that's tough to beat
i'm your charity case
so buy me somethin' to eat
i'll pay you at another time
take it to the end of the line

rags to riches, or so they say
ya gotta-keep pushin' for the fortune and fame
it's all a gamble when it's just a game
ya treat it like a capital crime
everybody's doin' their time..

take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
oh wont you please take me home, yeah

strapped in the chair of the city's gas chamber
why I'm here I can't quite remember
the surgeon general says it's hazardous to breathe
i'd have another cigarette but I can't see
tell me who you're gonna believe..

take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home, yeah..

take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
oh wont you please take me home, yeah!

so far away
so far away
so far away
so far away

captain America's been torn apart
now he's a court jester with a broken heart
he said-
turn me around and take me back to the start
i must be losin' my mind-
"are you blind?"
I've seen it all a million times

take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home, yeah

take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
oh won't you please take me home

take me down
to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
oh wont you please take me home, home

i wanna go
i wanna go
oh wont you please take me home
i wanna see
i wanna see
oh won't you please take me home

take me down
take me down
oh won't you please take me home
i wanna see
i wanna see
oh won't you please take me home

take me down
i wanna go
oh won't you please take me home

-Paradise City, Guns 'N Roses.

wonder if she'll remember me?

and it gets to be, sometimes, that you can hardly breathe. its like someone took a rather large rock, and placed it, ever so gently on your chest.
your breath comes in spurts. what do you want? what do you want? where do you want to go? where? what? how? when? panic..panic..escape..escape...please...



it says, in large friendly letters: 'Don't Panic.'
sometimes its the only thing that maintains my sanity, or rather distinct lack thereof.
damnit, slipped again.

it's not fair when someone can write the blog you were going to write, before you write it..

when you break things down to the basics, the very basics, it usually becomes just that simple. in the end, that's all that matters. basically.

it is late. but i cannot sleep.

will you drink of me,
as i drink of you?
will you lift that cup,
press it, lightly, against those lips,
and let me course through your veins?
i feel thinner now,
so thin, you could walk through me,
disperse me.
you could breathe on me,
and my smoky, emptiness would diffuse into everything.
will you drink of me?
will you breathe?
please.


bleah. don't you hate it when all you can do is retch?

its like running your hands,
gently, carefully,
over the surface of the sea
(the and not a,
you understand.)
it is reading
without opening my eyes.
it is feeling,
without thinking twice.
it is falling, slowly, almost imperceptibly,
inexorably,
backwards.
it is letting you waft through me,
like a warm summer breeze,
my arms outstretched,
my bones tingling faintly, as you pass..

it is.

you're getting closer, to pushing me off of lifes little edge,
[...]
you're getting closer, you're holding the rope...i'm taking the fall...


who, or what, are you? what am i pushing myself against? or from? why...is it just innate, or maybe i'm just blind..
it'll never be over, will it? despite all odds, i'll always find some reason to insist on sitting outside, in the rain. i may find home, but i will wish it was impossibly the same as it was...i may find peace, but i'll complain incessantly about how the sky is just the wrong shade of purple...

why can't i find your arms, and just sleep...