here's something that's been doing the rounds...things in bold are one's you've done.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sunrise
15. Seen the Northern Lights (its on the list of things to do..)
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars (not all night)
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier3
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath/shower
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced (or incredibly whiny)
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country (hehe)
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theatre
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to know about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken (so far, so good)
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married (i was 6 yrs old :P)
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Lied
97. (the real 97) Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch (from salman: cake.... well... we TRIED to :P)
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo (do bubblegum wrapper ones count?)
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason (yeah, i bought them for myself :P)
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Moulin Rouge
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressperson
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (does drive count?)
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived (does it have to be just an accident?)
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145.Broken someones heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle (not driven)
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced (does stapling your thumb twice count?)
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: take-off, landing, during
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (jet lag zindabad)
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for his or her actions
175. Gone back to school (visiting, yeah)
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad (and the aenid....and metamorphases...and ovid...gotta do all that!)
181. Selected one "important" author whom you missed in school, and read him/ her (pah! i read everything in school!)
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them (why is this even a question?)
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch (of course, it didn't work too well)
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Lost your Best Friend for reasons of death
201: Fallen in love over the internet
202: Sung in a Barbers' Shop Quartet (how about an octuplet in the superstore?)
203: Eaten a live animal
204: Been able to communicate in a language you barely learnt barely three days earlier.
205: Gate-crashed a wedding and went up to get your pictures taken with the happy couple

these ones are mine!!! (i.e. mina's) :

205: Been so caught up in a book that you kept reading it, even in the shower
206: Run a lap-without stopping- inside the original Olympics stadium in Athens
207: Had recurring dreams
208: Fallen asleep underneath a tree
209: Eaten lollipops every day for weeks
210: Been inside a bombed-out building
211: Ridden a camel
212: Had a book you loved signed by the author

and these are mine:
213: been mugged
214: almost been mugged......if not for the fact that you ran as fast as you could.
215: been shot at.
216: seen a bomb explode.
217: been a plane when it lost cabin pressure.
218: been stranded at an airport with no idea how you were going to get home.
219: gone through an extended period where you didn't know where each evening's dinner was coming from.
220: pretended to be asleep to get out of something you really should have done.
221: spent hours in the shower because you didn't want to go outside.
222: smiled..not out of happiness, but at the sheer ridiculous-ness of something that's got fairly serious consequences.

have you ever lost your faith?

the first time he did, it was in a concrete maze high above the world, talking to the tops of palm trees, making friends with the wind. then it was anger, resentment at a world which refused to yield to what he felt was his insurmountable will. how dare it refuse to bend? if only a little..just an inch, to reassure him that it was there. it did, ofcourse, not.
one of the greatest tragedies you'll experience is seeing a child with empty eyes.

the second moment was more mundane, more run-of-the-mill, completely in tune with the way life had progressed from so long ago. in a shower, warm water massaging his scalp and forming a dozen little waterfalls on its way to the deep blue floor. he sat there for hours, so afraid to move, to shatter the world of hope,faith,expectations,love he'd so gently crafted all around himself in a web so tight there's only way to go when you are where you've been. in that moment between who you were and who you are, you make the choice to either face up to the consequences of what you've done, or to silently fade away.
it isn't easy. it never is.

wrapped in these fingers, somewhere, is a story. and in that story is a place, a place where all of this comes together, for a moment, before shooting off in different directions again, and it's that place i'll always escape to when i close my eyes.

it's a great story. normally complementary themes, thrown into conflict. five, ten different paths converging and then diverging once more in the only true meaning of 'parallel' when it comes to telling a story. it's a love story, it'll bring a smile to your lips, it'll renew your faith.

maybe i'll tell you, someday.

sunrise walking songs:

bon jovi - dead or alive
bon jovi - blaze of glory
audioslave - gasoline
allison krauss - you will be my ain true love
the beatles - let it be
eric clapton - layla (acoustic)
call - kash (acoustic)
aamir zaki - mera pyaar
matchbox twenty - 3am (acoustic)
powderfinger - my kinda scene
third eye blind - jumper
joe satriani - always with me, always with you
foo fighters - times like these
the eagles - hotel california
goo goo dolls - iris
white snake - love ain't no stranger (acoustic)
the verve - lucky man
guns 'n roses - don't cry (alt. lyrics)
bob dylan - things have changed

on story-telling

there is no such thing as a great story-writer.
this is true.

there are, however, wonderful story tellers everywhere, and that's a subtle difference. because (never begin a sentence with 'because'. ever. unless you really want to.) none of the really good stories are anything so simple as written down. you can't write one, because in some sense the story's always existed, independent of anything. it simply lives itself through you, and most of the time you're just a spectator as it unfolds itself through your hands, thankful to get to be a part of it. characters, spaces, moments exist, have existed forever in a sort of timeless immortality, all you did was provide a channel from here to there for them to take on the sort of permanence we only feel in our own concrete universe.
the universe of stories is a space of drifting moments, encapsulating emotions, and above all a sort of floating feeling of reality where you're not tied down by anything so physically banal as gravity.

who were they? i can't say..they could be you and i.

and this is not a case of lust, you see
it's not a matter of you versus me...

..but my experiment is not getting us anywhere.

its wonderful how you can slip right back....roof-basement-chai. we could live and die this way.

it's that time of year again, ladies...

take me down to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home
(Oh, won't you please take me home..)

just an urchin livin' under the street
i'm a hard case that's tough to beat
i'm your charity case
so buy me somethin' to eat
i'll pay you at another time
take it to the end of the line

rags to riches
or so they say
you gotta
keep pushin' for the fortune and fame
you know it's, it's all a gamble
when it's just a game
you treat it like a capital crime
everybody's doin' their time


strapped in the chair of the city's gas chamber
why I'm here, I can't quite remember
the surgoen general say's it's hazardous to breathe
i'd have another cigarette
but I can't see
tell me that you're gonna believe

take me down to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home
(Oh, won't you please take me home..)

so far away...

capitain America's been torn apart
now he's a court jester
with a broken heart
he said turn me around
and take me back to the start
i must be losing my mind
"Are you blind?!"
i've seen it all a million times

take me down to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home
(Oh, won't you please take me home..)

i want to go
i want to know
oh, won't you please take me home?

i want to see
oh, look at me
oh, won't you please take me home

take me down to the paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are pretty
take me home
(Oh, won't you please take me home)

Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Oh, won't you please take me home

Take me down
Oh yeah
Beat me down
Oh, won't you please take me home

I want to see
Oh, look at me
Oh, won't you please take me home

I want to see
Boy, I'm gonna be mean
Oh, oh take me home

Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Oh, won't you please take me home

I want to go
I want to know
Oh, won't you please take me hooooooome
Baby...

paradise city
guns 'n roses

i remember when they told me about the first one. we were eating dinner when they took him aside and tore his life out from inside him. i still don't know if it was more painful watching his face or knowing i'd never see hers crack open in that grin she seemed to keep just for me.
the second's hand was in mine when they told me, and it changed right there from a hand into skin and flesh and bone. cold.
by the third i was an old hand at it. phone, twelve thousand miles apart. i think i just nodded.
the fourth was a nudge in the middle of the night, and in silence i showered and prepared to dance to that old tune again.

it seems like it's an eternal coming and going, enter, stage right, exit stage left. we're in a perpetual state of motion, of fluidity, where we don't just exist from one moment to the next, we flow.

"immortality is all i seek."

funny, i could've sworn you used to listen to the chords below the skin of thoughts lost in translation.

time makes fools of us all, and for those of us who already pride ourself on being foolish, i'm not quite sure where we've got to go.

any minute now i'm expecting all hell to break loose..

you can run away in the blink of an eye, disappear through the cut, but everytime you do you're taking a little bit more. sometimes..sometimes all you really need to do is to be able to close your eyes and float, without arms reaching, without eyes pleading, without voices whispering, because some nights you'll wake up to the thought that none of those live here anymore.

but.

when your fingers are limp and lifeless, who'll hold you then?

breathe in. breathe out.